I got a call from a woman who was complaining about her husband’s appetite for the campus girls. According to her ‘My husband would abuse those young ladies for putting on clothes that reveal their bodies yet run after the same girls. I don’t know what is wrong with him and what he sees outside that entices him; She rounded up with what I have heard so many woman say to me during counseling sessions: ‘I can’t understand why a man would pack a Cadillac at home and run after the Okada outside.’
I told her a few things about mid-life crisis(which I believe is not a good excuse for men to start extra-marital relationships) but I also explained to her what I have discovered with so many women.
I started by telling her that while I agree with what she said about a man having a Cadillac at home and running after the Okada on the street, the man wouldn’t run after the Okada provided the Cadillac performs like a real Cadillac. If the Cadillac at home stops performing and starts behaving like an Okada, the man will naturally run after the Cadillac –like Okada outside.
I have discovered so many differences between the woman at home (the wife) and woman outside(the mistress) which I believe will assist a lot of women whose husbands seem to be running after the Okada outside at the moment.
If you are a woman you must have observed that there were some things you were doing that attracted the man to you in the first place, but the question at the moment is are you still doing those things or have you improved on those things?
So many women have not been able to re-invent themselves to fit into their husbands’ new frequency. What used to turn him on in those days may not be the same now, so it is your responsibility to discover new trends and bring them home to him. The law of goodwill says that old customers will usually return to the old place.
Let us examine a few differences between the woman at home and the woman outside;
1. While the woman at home prepares herself; the woman outside prepares herself for him –
A lot of married women take care of themselves without thinking about their husbands anymore. They work with the assumption that since they have gotten his ring on their finger, they don’t need to do much to keep him. They now wear the perfume they like, walk the way they want and do things generally the way they want it. The woman outside on the other hand also desires his ring, so she starts preparing herself specifically for him. She sets the tone, attracts him with her walks and everything that will naturally bring him to her side.
2. While the woman at home waits for him; the woman outside goes to look for him – I know a lot of women call their husbands but I have discovered that a lot of married women devote most of their time to their children. They stop looking for him and simply wait for him to come. But the woman outside is the exact opposite. She bombards his phone with text messages, calls him and looks for every opportunity to look for him. She treats him like she needs him while the woman at home treats him like she wants him. You can do without a want but needs are indispensable.
3. The woman at home dresses for the occasion; the woman outside dresses to attract him –
Look at what the woman at home wears compared to what the woman outside puts on I see a lot of women at home with wrapper all the time, forgetting that a lot of men don’t like women who wear wrapper. Since it is generally agreed that he is moved by sight, the woman outside capitalizes on that to create a sight that is too good to overlook while the woman at home doesn’t really care about what she wears. Her dressing is not specifically for her husband; it is for societal acceptance, forgetting that she is not married to the society. I am not saying that married women should throw caution to the wind and become naked in public (no man likes that as well), but at home, especially when you are with him alone (women should please do everything to create those ‘alone’ moments. Become irresistible and wear what he can’t overlook. Dress to please your husband. It is not about being naked, but your color combination and how smart and fitting the dress is on you. Nothing should stop you from flaunting what you have got when you are alone with him. That is the edge the woman outside has.
To be continued
NB: First published June 2012
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