Don’t believe the tales of woes that you see around you;
Don’t measure your own reality by the number of marriages that failed.
Never ever succumb to the conclusions in many quarters that marriages don’t work.
For every marriage that hasn’t worked there are several others that has worked perfectly and trust me you see what you are intentionally looking out for.
If you decide to buy a red car today. All you will see are red cars on the road. Same way what you often see is basically dependent on your focus.
Marriages fail for so many reasons which i won’t go into but you must not also believe that it failed because men are demons or because women are immature. I am not sure there is anyone that prayed for a failed marriage and that is why we must deal with them gently and nurse them back to a state of wholeness.
However marriage is sweet and lovely and while it has its several challenges like any venture one thing everyone knows that nothing is sweeter than a happy marriage but it takes two to cultivate it.
For your marriage to work we must change a few narratives;
1. Women are home makers – There is no woman that can make a home the other person has vowed to wreck. Men and Women must unite to make the home. It takes two not one.
2. Men are bread winners – So when he wins the bread what happens? Why can’t both win the bread since they are a couple. A lot of men are overworked and stressed by the quest to win this bread. Breadwinner syndrome was an English invention which has outlived its purpose. In a team centered marriage every productive force within the family must generate an income to collectively boost the economy of the family. Everyone owns everything because what we bring in becomes our internally generated revenue.
3. His word is final – The head of a nation is not always the most intelligent or the wealthiest. He is simply the one who can create an ideal environment for the potential of everyone in the territory to be properly expressed and maximized. Every sane head knows that headship is service and is quick to ceed leadership to a competent partner in her area of expertise. There is no woman that would want out of a marriage where her potential finds expression and where her value is respected and given full expression and support.
Marriage is not a slaughter slab where one person dies for the other to live. Instead it is a place where two are better than one for they have a good reward for their labour.
It works if we work it out;
It works if we consider the other as our equal;
It works if we keep the bond of friendship;
It works if we keep working on ourselves to become the best version we can ever be;
It works if what we see is ‘man'(humanity) made in God’s image;
It works if we understand the core reason of being together and we have clarity about the nation we ultimately want to build.
Marriage still works and don’t get it twisted.
It keeps working because you are working.
I honour you
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