I sat with a single lady recently and just before my radio show and she spent the entire time talking about the dearth of real men and what it implies for the family system. She shared several tales of guys asking for her hand in marriage yet unable to answer the two critical questions vital in checking out any man proposing marriage to any purpose – driven lady:
– Where are we headed?
– Why would you want to marry me?
She shared with me how none of the guys she had met has been unable to answer these questions and her resolution to remain single till she meets a guy that has a clear direction of where he is headed. I listened to her and was so impressed because it is sometimes better to be the one piloting the flight of your life, when you are so sure of the destination you are headed, than to board a one chance plane whose destination you are not sure of. The biggest challenge a lot of married women are contending with right now is the sudden realization that they never bothered to ask the right questions before marriage and now feel stuck. The truth is you don’t have to consider leaving your marriage because there is a way to turn every adverse situation around with wisdom, after all a truly wise woman is one that builds her home.
But my sincere appeal goes to the men because God is counting on you to rebuild this world and recreate a kingdom family that makes heaven visible on earth. There is no other way to build a wonderful family than to sit with your spouse to craft a family vision and the values that everyone in your family must subscribe to in achieving the vision. May I say at this juncture that it is not going to be easy to implement, especially when your kids are already in their teenage years, but it is better late than never and it is never too difficult for you to influence the people around you when you have sustained the change in yourself and your spouse. So, can you sit down once again with your spouse tonight and come up with a clear destination of the future you see and the critical values that would help you realize that future, after all a wise man said nothing guarantees a better future like a correct picture.
God never starts a new generation with a majority, instead He looks for a family that is ready for the change and works through them to create a new tribe that ultimately delivers His will. That template was clearly evident with Adam, Noah and Abraham as well as one of the greatest kings in ancient Israel – David. If you are a student of history and read about the miraculous exodus from Egypt to Canaan, it would interest you to know that God ensured that the generation that made it out of Egypt all perished in the desert because of their inability to shift their paradigm from slavery to freedom, except for Joshua and Caleb and it was said about them that they had a different spirit.
Life in slavery is totally different from life in freedom and that is why even though a lot of African nations have gained independence; they are not yet free because freedom has a huge burden that most people who ever lived in slavery are unwilling to undertake.
– In slavery, you don’t need a vision because you carry out the vision of your slave masters
– In slavery, you don’t need to plan and manage your time because your slave master owns you
– In slavery, you don’t have to worry about inheritance for your children’s children because they automatically become slaves
– In slavery, you don’t need to use your brain because it is delegated to your slave master
– In slavery, you are paid something called salary in exchange for your originality and personal creative ability
– In slavery, you don’t really expect a higher lifestyle because slavery conditions you to accept your reality as God’s will
– In slavery, you keep running to your slave master with a begging bowl because even though you have the natural ability to generate solutions that can liberate you; the refining ability is not what you are willing to undertake, so you would need to export your crude and import finished products
– In slavery, you measure your success by your fellow slaves, not by your actual ability
– In slavery, the correctional language you understand is pain and not strategic thinking
Is your family still in slavery or you are truly free?
Have a wonderful week!
To be continued.