I started by making some fundamental statements which I hope will liberate a lot of singles this year because I see loads of troubled marriages which could have been avoided had they sought counsel or not succumbed to the culture that makes ladies in their 30s feel something is wrong with them. The truth is, marriage is not meant for everyone and there is nothing like you can’t fulfil your purpose in life without marriage because I have enough examples of people who changed the course of this world without marriage. I think the pressure to get married and the eventual marriage to a wrong person has robbed our world of wonderful solutions that we may never see. That is why I often make the statement that the next wealthiest place outside the grave is the kitchen of certain men who have deprived our world of the potentials of their women because of their quest to turn their women to cooks.
Who says a man must be more popular than the woman in marriage? Too many cultural limitations and insecurity have reduced global icons to cooks and bedmates.
The second fundamental statement I will make is:
– The most important thing in life is not marriage, but a discovery of purpose.
I marvel when I see loads of people without a purpose for their lives marching to the altar to exchange marital vows. As a matter of fact, I often ask troubled couples why they got married and it feels strange all the time that they are never able to answer that question.
Will you be my wife from a guy should elicit a question like ‘Why do you want me out of several other ladies’? But that never happens and what you see is a blushing face that is so excited and willing to go flaunt her engagement ring to her friends.
Unfortunately, many people go through life without a discovery of purpose because your purpose should go a long way in determining who you should marry. Stop disturbing God about who to marry, discover why He created you and your choice of a spouse becomes easier.
My mentor taught me that the wealthiest spot on earth is the cemetery because there, you have lawyers who died as touts and doctors who died as beggars, without fulfilling their purpose. There is a reason for your creation that is superior to sex, job or even marriage.
There are a few principles that my mentor shared with me that govern purpose and it is available in his book, Releasing Your Potentials :
1. God is a God of purpose
2. Everything in life has a purpose
3. Not every purpose is known
4. When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable
5. If you want to know your purpose, never ask the thing
6. Purpose is only found in the mind of the manufacturer of a thing
7. Purpose is the key to maximum living.
Instead of whining and sowing seeds about a spouse, why don’t you sit down and ask the fundamental question: Why was I born? Or discover what truly makes you happy because purpose actually keeps you busy without being lonely.
What makes you:
Heart – What does your heart tell you that you are the best at?
Ability – What can you do that nobody taught you? What is your certificate hindering you from?
Personality – Are you an introvert or extrovert and does it go in line with what you love to do?
Passion – What do you love doing that makes you forget food and time?
Yesterday – What happened in your past that you don’t want others to go through?
I think the greatest distraction to a discovery and living out of purpose for so many is their certificate and cultural limitations.
Who says you can’t become a global icon? Christiano Ronaldo proved to the entire world that you can become the best if you horn your natural ability.
The tragedy of singleness is waiting for a man to bail you out of your misery. Don’t complain when he turns you to a cook because there was no value that you brought to the table in the first place.
Our world would become better if every single seeks to discover their purpose in life and go about making that happen because that will naturally throw up the right partner for you.
NB: First published October 2014