LIVING ABOVE EVERY LEADER’S SEX BATTLES – 5 (Principle of Positioning)


Many people have lived their lives saying too many things that they don’t believe. Contrary to what many think, the fact that a man is saying something doesn’t mean he believes what he says because ultimately what he does is what he actually believes and his beliefs is usually based on his perception and interpretation of things. To change a man’s attitude to anything, all you may need to do is to change his perception. Perception is the screen through which we interpret reality and once our screen is faulty, everything will be faulty. God has not given anyone the spirit of fear, but of love, power and sound mind. That sound mind is the most crucial because that is what can create every other thing and that was why the ancient philosopher, Solomon wrote ‘Guard your mind with all diligence because what you have in there can control the quality of your life’.
Many don’t know at what point their perception about certain realities change because they are clueless about their exposure to certain programmes and media that reconfigure their perception. I once handled a particular case where the man got married newly and went for honeymoon with his wife only for the two of them to see a movie together where the man of the house was sleeping with his sister in-law and from that moment, he told me something switched in him and he began to long for his sister in-law and that was the genesis of a life of infidelity with his sister in-law which spanned  3 years.
What is your perception of all the women around you as a leader? If your perception of them is wrong, there is no way you won’t run into trouble. What is your perception of yourself as well? If you don’t see yourself as a true mentor and father, there is no way you won’t mess up with the ladies around you.
I often tell leaders that the moment your paradigm changes from a man of honor and it enters your subconscious that you can do certain things and get away or you think it is a secret, you are courting sex scandals. Sometimes it is the girl that throws herself at you as a leader, but if your perception screen is right, you won’t take advantage of her. A woman is a being that must be respected, not a hole that must be penetrated at all cost. The moment you begin to feel funny about a protégée or someone who looks up to you, it actually means you need to break away from the relationship. But what I often realize is that a lot of leaders would rather try to behave as if they are invincible than admit a weakness.
Your leadership position or anointing doesn’t give immunity against sexual issues and that is why keeping a sound mind is so vital. As a leader, there are a few things that can mess up your perception and get you into trouble without your permission. The most dangerous of them all is pornography which messes up your mind and makes you compare your wife to other women and even foster adultery. There is no way you are hooked on porn that your perception of women and sex won’t be messed up.
Why don’t you take some time out to ask yourself if your perception of sex is still alright or you are on your way down? If you don’t see sex as a covenant of life, love and pleasure between the man and the woman in marriage for the purpose of unity, procreation and expression of marital love, you will misbehave in no time. Same way, if you don’t see pornography as the chief enemy to your sanity, you will get into ‘collabo’ with it and mess up your future. What is your perception of masturbation? If you don’t see how it may affect your sex drive in the future and give you a degree of impotence, pre-mature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, then you may learn the lessons too late.
What is your perception of a female breast? I have noticed that nothing puts more men into trouble like a  female breast, forgetting that there is no difference between what she has and what your wife has. My mum taught me that the only difference between your wife and the other woman is the shame that comes with it when you are eventually caught. It is better to drink water from your wife’s fountain than from a public stream. What is your perception of her breast and what can happen if you walk away without touching her?
To be continued.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here