For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
-Steve Jobs
One major thing I have noticed with many leaders is the quest to improve others and get the best out of them. There high work rate and success rate can become so intimidating that most times they become surrounded by vulnerable and other times sycophants who depend on them thereby finding it so hard to tell them the truth.  It is so sad that when leaders begin to exhibit negative traits followers especially in the religious circles rationalize or overlook it because the gifts has overshadowed the character. Forgetting that vocal authority may not stand the test of time without moral authority. When was the last time you looked into the mirror as a leader and you were honest with yourself? Are you really the same person everyone is celebrating or you are just a spider-man whose words don’t align with his life?
It is always good to look into the mirror and accurately assess yourself with a view to finding the areas you need to improve or work on especially with respect to your sexuality. An average leader struggle with their sexuality simply because that is one aspect of us we hate to face the truth. So, many live in denial until a scandal that is preventable happens.
What do you look out for in the mirror?
A.    The past: What was your upbringing like as a child? Were you a victim of child sexual abuse? One thing leadership or anointing may not take away from you is the damage that was done to you through abuse except in situations where you have faced the pain head long and gotten help.
One thing abuse takes away from people is their identity and sense of esteem unfortunately many of us never really pay attention to the damage and grow with it till it begins to show up and manifest in form of sex addiction or other forms of sexual perversion. What is your history? I was speaking with a leader recently who has developed herself so well and doing well in her business but her marriage and sexuality were in shambles. When we met she was blaming her husband for every of her problems until we brought in the mirror which never lies and she saw clearly her life at 4 when she was forced to perform oral sex by her cousin and ever since almost every man in her life had used her save for her husband. As a matter of fact everyone saw a business leader in her but she was hurting and already making out with another man which she was ashamed to share. We had to start working on the child in her that was not allowed to grow normally as a result of abuse and she is gradually learning to live without hurts, anger and sexual promiscuity.
Many of us are dealing with issues whose source we have not properly analyzed and diagnose with a view to getting help. Have you found out why you are making out with that lady or that guy? You may have several reasons masking as the reason for it but it may have everything to do with your past abuse. A child that is sexually molested stops seeing himself/herself as a being that must be respected and reconditions into a thing that must be used. Is that your story? A child that is sexually molested sometimes grows up into an adult who becomes a sex predator as well. Could that be responsible for your quest for younger boys and girls? A child that is sexually molested could develop learned helplessness which makes him do what he hates yet finds it difficult to stop. Could that be the reason for your uncontrollable compulsive appetite for sexual activities that keeps re-occurring?
A child that is sexually molested develops low self esteem and could become controlling. Could that be responsible for your quest to control people and your insecurity?
B. Your traits and tendencies  – Your traits are situations that spring into your life without your permission but produce a familiar result. What are the common traits you have noticed in your family? I have seen families where every male is sexually promiscuous and seen families where they usually start so well but becomes stagnated once they becomes exposed to illicit sex. What is your story? I often tell people that there is no point pretending or deceiving yourself. There is what is called the I and I concept which says that what happens in the life of your father can repeat itself in a child. I did a study on a sportsman that was involved in a serious case of sex scandal and found out that his father was a bigger sex scandal. The only difference was that his father was not much of a celebrity for his sex life to have attracted global attention. Stardom is a magnifier of your strengths and weaknesses. What is your story.


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