The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me.  The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.  -George Bernard Shaw
Perception is everything and it is a major factor in determining how well you sustain your success as a leader or not. The challenge with many of us as leaders is our inability to know when to retain or let go of people. People move from mentoring relationship to sexual relationships without knowing at what point the line has been crossed.
Every battle is won or lost in your mind and that is why you need to be on top of your game because perception is your interpretation based on information available to you. And what you must know is that when you spend more time with someone that is not your spouse no matter how much you think you detest the person initially it is only a matter of time before bonding begins to take place especially if the person adores you and you move to a lever called RATIONALIZATION where you begin to engage in ‘it doesn’t really matter’ and that could
get you into trouble.
I have seen a few leaders change their perception of truth unconsciously especially as a result of their exposure to certain media or people and that is why I often counsel that you must as a matter of urgency guard the gates into your life such as your eyes and ears. So here are a few checklists: –
TV Programs – What movies or musicals do you love to see? There is no way your perception of truth won’t be affected if you spend so much time seeing movies that contradict your values. For example if most of what you see involves infidelity without any serious consequence, it is only a matter of time before your good values would be challenged and your defense broken down. What many of us fail to realize is that every TV programs is designed to challenge your values and reprogram you in the image of what you are exposed to. So for example if your spirit is becoming comfortable with what you would have detested naturally then you have been captured and on your way to acting out what you see. There is no point sniffing what you don’t intend to eat because once your beliefs system is influenced negatively there is no way your life won’t be influenced. So what TV programs do you watch in the secret when no one sees you? It will shape your reality in no time.
-Associations – Evil communication corrupts good manners and many people have had their good moral values messed up by the people they associate with. I often warn leaders to be wary of whom their mentors are because your mentors to a large extent can determine your perception of life, God and even certain repercussions. The life and the perception of the person you spend most of your time with on certain issues to a large extent can affect you especially people that you have placed over your life. I have seen certain leaders from certain organizations live very sexually promiscuous lives such that you want to think sex is a culture within the organization. As a matter of fact each time a lady tells me she is engaged to someone within that system my antenna comes alive because they have proven me right over and over again. I took time out to study the system and I realize that sex isn’t a big deal to their leader. As a matter of fact he hardly mentions sexual purity and his example is not something anyone who wants to live a life of purity would want to emulate. I have had to detach from a few people I used to be mentored by because of the things I saw when I first started out which almost influenced me. Because when your mentor begins to talk about illicit sex as if it is not a big deal and as if you have immunity over the effect of falling into sexual sins you could have your sanity messed up as a young leader. I have had mentors that would challenge your purity and hold you to a very high moral standards and I have had others who talk loosely and can make you think God doesn’t see anything wrong with sexual compromises. Beware of lewd jokes and illicit gossips that can corrupt your right spirit. It is sometimes better to relate with people from afar than get close.
There are times that your mentor is not even guilty of sexual sins but his positioning of himself in a questionable manner can affect your perception and put you in trouble. What lessons would you have learnt from a mentor who allows his female protégée to massage him alone in his room or even pass the night on his bed claiming he is their father? How does he expect you to believe nothing happed and how does he expect you as his protégée not to do the same? All things may be lawful as a leader but are they really expedient?
                                                                                 To be continued

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