It is a great day for the Nigerian families, I believe, and it is even a better day for the Nigerian women.  But I want our women to understand that you must become both the woman within and the woman without to effectively keep your man in this age and time. We know every man must learn to be self controlled in this age and time, but our women must also play their own part.
Let’s try and round up  this series…
7. While the woman within has an unpredictable environment; the woman without has a very predictable environment – I have heard some men complain of their inability to predict their women because of unstable moods. One man was so furious about the whole thing that he said ‘I simply can’t understand a woman that has become a god that must be worshipped. She gets angry without reason and I keep wondering when she will outgrow this childish attitude after five years of marriage’. The woman without, on the other hand, has a fairly stable environment that she does everything to please the man even if she has to pretend.  The man knows that she must smile on sighting him, run into his arms and shower him with encomiums. She creates an environment that gives him the opportunity to live large and assert his ego.

8. While the woman within shares control; the woman without gives him control – It has been said that we sometimes have to stoop to conquer and that is the strength of the woman without. The 21st century woman shares control, especially since the two of them are working class and possibly earns more than the man. So you have a situation where the man even collects money from the woman within to give to the one that gives him control. The woman without, irrespective of her status, gives him control. She allows him to be in charge of everything and hardly ever argues with him. With her, the man is king and lord and she accepts that. But the irony of the whole matter is that in giving him control is her strength in controlling him and that is why her requests are easily granted.
While I am not encouraging men to run after the women outside because such a woman eventually destroys you and whatever you have left behind when you are gone, I must however say to women whose homes are still intact that you need to do more than you are doing at the moment.
The question I ask most women who come to report their husbands is: ‘Doesn’t he deserve to do extra-marital?’  This may sound so harsh, but it is a question of responsibility. What deposits have you made for him to continually run after you. Some of us have done so much by our own standard without bothering to find out his basic needs and the way he wants them met. The goal I set for every woman is to get to that level where your man is not just your best friend, but has gotten to a level where he is free to express his feelings without any fear of being misunderstood.
There is no charm that the woman outside has that is not present in you, so why allow another person beat you to what is truly yours? So, I advice all the ‘Cadillacs’ parked at home to ‘unpark’ themselves and begin to utilize all their features to function like  true ‘Cadillacs’ and with that you would have effectively defeated the ‘Okadas’ on the street posing like Cadillacs. Please, go ahead, be the woman within and the woman without. Set a record that no other woman outside can defeat and do it cheerfully. You have the power.

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