RUNNING AN EFFECTIVE FAMILY (11) – Fundamental truths


Every error that is a threat to the sanity of our world right now must have started from a family and it will take a right family to correct the error. Sometimes I wonder how learned people suspend their heart and brain and insist on what doesn’t bring peace to anyone. The key to rebuilding our present world is in our hands. It is not going to be an overnight job, but you can be sure that if we all do what we have to do right now by creating an effective family system, then together we would have changed the world in another 25 years.
We have examined 3 critical fundamental truths in family system building and in the last few days, we have stuck to the 3rd truth which says ‘The quality of your family system determines the quality of the society and ultimately the happiness of our world’, and from there we have examined some of the critical family systems every home must have in place and that takes me to the 4th fundamental truth:

4.    Until we change what is not working and humble ourselves to create a family that reflects the peaceful nation we all want to see, then our world sinks deeper into chaos – The only constant thing in life is change. Unfortunately, that is the most difficult thing for many of us to do.
If you suddenly discover that the key to creating a peaceful world in 2015 is for you as a man to get rid of your cultural beliefs, that makes you a lion at home and to start serving your family and listening to them, would you be willing to change? If cooking for your family and faithfulness to your wife are the keys to creating a peaceful world, would you be willing to sacrifice your lust for that peaceful future?
One of my ardent followers buzzed me last week to share with me a relationship that is about to hit the rocks simply because a church is insisting the man must sign an undertaking to become a member of their church after the wedding ceremony or else they would not conduct the wedding. I laughed as I listened to the story and kept wondering how vital is a church wedding to the success of a marriage. My simple counsel was for the two adults involved to head for the court and get married instead of dancing to a doctrine that has no root in the word of God.
A senior colleague once shared his deep concerns about how we are the only group of people who get married four times because each of the process we go through can actually passed as a recognized wedding ceremony. We move from traditional to court and we move from court to church and eventually end up at the reception; meanwhile each of them could have actually pass for a wedding ceremony. Why would the joy of two adults be tied to a doctrine or a culture?
Our world is in trouble because truth is far from us and people have believed a lot of lies which has not led to anyone’s happiness. I often wonder what our world would have looked like without many of our unverified or un-researched beliefs whose origin we don’t know. What is the origin of getting into debts because you want to get married when the most important thing in a wedding, ‘Yes! I do’, costs nothing? What is the origin of feeding everyone and throwing a big party simply because you want to name a child when the name actually costs no dime? What is the origin of killing others simply because they don’t believe in what we believe in? What is the origin of judging, insisting an intelligent keeps mute simply because of her gender in a gathering of men? What is the origin of not listening to what your child has to say about a matter because you think he doesn’t know anything?
How many people have had their happiness and identities mortgaged simply because of a culture or a doctrine or because they want to make you happy? Whose joy has died for yours to live? Until we change what is not working and humble ourselves to create a family that reflects the peaceful nation we all want to see, then our world sinks deeper into chaos.
To be continued.

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