Home FEATURED RUNNING AN EFFECTIVE FAMILY (20) – Building Blocks (Family Constitution)

RUNNING AN EFFECTIVE FAMILY (20) – Building Blocks (Family Constitution)

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Democracy may have been the best form of government ever created by men, but we all know that it is not always the best because while majority may carry the vote, as it is often said, the thought process and the judgment of that majority could have been influenced by  media systems that condition them to believe what the owners of the system would have them believe. That is why it is very important for us to come up with a system of governance that takes into consideration:
Rights and equitable treatment of stakeholders – The father, mother and the children are the stakeholders here and there must be equitable treatment of all in the principle of fairness. Once there is a system that makes one person more powerful than all, then there is bound to be inequitable treatment.
Interest of other stakeholders – There could be other stakeholders like in-laws and outlaws and that interest must be decided before hand to avoid a situation where this minority becomes more powerful than the real stakeholders, because we have seen this happen several times in Africa where an inlaw becomes the one who influences major decisions in a family, which is totally wrong.
Integrity and ethical behaviour – Families should develop a code of conduct that promotes ethical and responsible decision making. I believe that must have been covered in your family values.
Disclosure and transparency – What everyone is doing must be clear with no air of ambiguity and there must be full disclosure in terms of earnings and spendings because it belongs to the family (nation) and no longer your personal money.
What system of corporate governance exists in your home?
I realized many of us are finding this new school of thought tough to accept even though many accept the fact that it sounds more structured, but I dare say that until you are willing to try something new, you may not get the benefit of what is new and real. I just knew something was wrong with the way people were running their families and that was what drove me into serious research and opening myself up to learn what works and I am glad I discovered family systems. We shall be teaching you this every month from next month at our live seminars in Lagos till you master it and your family becomes the most desirable nation. All God needs to transform our nation is just one brand new family that is yielded to God, but that change can be faster when more families yield to the principle of building a kingdom family.
The next critical building block is your family constitution which is more or less the operational manual of the family. It is shocking to discover that most families have never agreed on anything since they started existing yet they expect people who constitute the family to act and live right! How does someone who doesn’t even know what is acceptable or unacceptable live right? That is what the family constitution would seek to achieve. Imagine a nation without a constitution? If the family is the smallest nation that exists, then it is only sane for every family to have a family constitution.
In developing your family constitution, the first thing you might want to quickly develop is what we call the articles of the family constitution, which states your beliefs. Usually, I recommend not more than 10 articles so that it is easy for members to remember and master.
What are your family beliefs?
I am sure people are beginning to realize that the task of building the most desirable family is not an easy task to be handled with levity, because a lot of us got married with the mentality that it is just one of those things, but after about 42days already, I realized we are still scratching the surface.
Someone asked what the articles of the family constitution are and I did respond that it is a set of beliefs that the family holds so dear to themselves which guides good conduct and behaviour in the family. I once visited a family where every negative word you use is greeted with a chorus of ‘bad word’ by every member of that family. Truth is parents lose touch with the upbringing of their kids because there is no clearly defined or agreed articles of the family constitution and that is why you have to develop your articles to reflect everything you want your family to be known or stand for. For example, a typical articles of a family constitution can look like this:
1.    We commit to love and obey God in every situation even when no one is watching
2.    We commit to resolve every conflict before the sun sets everyday
3.    We recognize that we are different in every way, hence our resolution to respect and honour each person’s individual difference and to celebrate them.
You can build it up to a maximum number of 10 so that it is easy for everyone to remember and live by them. I am sure someone is wondering why the need for a family constitution?
The answer is simply in your ability to imagine a nation without a constitution or an organization without a policy? The reason many of us break rules in our nation is because we were not brought up to value and respect any form of constitution. So, we must retrace our steps and get things right.
Can the change begin with your family? That change starts on  http://goo.gl/lvrjJR
To be continued.

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