Home FEATURED FAMILY SYSTEMS – Generalizations (5)

FAMILY SYSTEMS – Generalizations (5)


I must deeply appreciate your love and tremendous feedback. I often tell some of my friends that God would never give us a brain if he never intended for us to reason things out and that is why I first deploy my human mind to think through issues. Sometimes, observing nature provides answers and any template that portrays God in the light of a task master who would rather allow people suffer.
What would God want to achieve by keeping people bound and suspend their lives when the person they married already left the marriage to go start another life with another woman? If we all agree that the only reason a person can move on is as a result of adultery, the question is what has a man who has started another life with another woman committed?
A man that can abandon his wife for another woman and start a life with her with children is not just a user, he has also committed bigamy and adultery at the same time and in my opinion, we would be most unfair to suspend the life of the woman and tell her to keep hoping for the return of the man.
God is not done with anyone whose marriage broke down due to no fault of theirs and I am not sure He will reject them if they remarried. If He can use a Samaritan woman in the Bible who was married 7 times, then He determines who He uses. The next generalization is: Something is wrong with you when you are unmarried.
I have sat with several singles who have become depressed and frustrated because of what they can’t seem to understand. I met a single recently who shared how much she had sown as seeds and how many deliverance sessions she had attended to break the curse of marital delays. As a matter of fact, our society is awash with all sorts of programmes that promote ‘instant marriage’, ‘give me a spouse or I die’. Somehow, I feel a lot is wrong and I think we have subjected singles to unnecessary pressure with many of them eventually committing unforced errors.
Imagine someone who just sowed a spousal seed and gets a call from a guy who proposes in 48hours? Of course, she would testify, but has she done her due diligence? What kind of man is he? People have jumped in because they see it as supernatural and end up with a wife beater and trust me, I have sat with countless of such cases in counseling. God’s miracle can’t be remote – controlled and when it even takes knowledge to maintain a miracle. One truth we hate to talk about is ‘Not everyone can be married’. As a matter of fact, I am beginning to realize it’s not marriage many want; the panic sometimes is the race to beat menopause.
Here are a few questions you might want to answer:
–    Has your singleness reduced your ability to make wealth?
–    Will marriage make you more wealthy?
–    Has your singleness limited the respect you earn or your ability to achieve your goals?
–    Would marriage make you achieve your goals faster?
–    Would you rather be married to a spouse who abuses and makes your life miserable or remain single?
–    Would marriage make you HAPPY?
Truth be told, it is better to stay single and sane than to fall into the hands of a wrong spouse that becomes a heavy cross you might need to carry for the rest of your life.
I honour you.

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