Tunde and Wunmi Obe have always operated as a duo. Forever together and inseparable, YES International! Publisher/Editor-in-Chief, AZUH ARINZE, for a change, decided to corner Tunde, one of Nigeria’s finest men, all alone at home. And for the first time, the scandal-free celeb went intimate on the things he likes about his wife and the mother of his three children (Roxanne, Ricardo and Andrea), the one he doesn’t like, what most people don’t know about their undying love for each other, why they are succeeding as musicians and more; much more. The interesting session was at their home in Alausa, Ikeja, Lagos. Share in the fun…
What must any artiste who wants to be scandal-free do?
Don’t do anything you don’t want them to write about, don’t do anything you would be ashamed to hear or to read on the pages of newspapers, always act with dignity and have a lot of integrity when you have business dealings with clients. It’s as simple as that.
Why then do most artistes walk into scandals and engage in unpleasant things?
Some, because they get carried away with the fame. Some people become stars at a relatively young age and some didn’t really work very hard for it. You see, the way things are now and the way things were in the old days are very, very different. That’s why there were fewer scandals back then. There were scandals back then as well, but they were fewer because before you can become a superstar in those days, you had to have an antecedent, you had to have some track records. There’s hardly any singer that was in my generation, not to talk of the older ones, who didn’t do back up for a bigger artiste. Mike Okri did back up for Onyeka Onwenu and some very popular artistes also did back up for Mike Okri. So, it’s always like that. It’s always a generational thing. People like Kunle Odutayo played in my band, people like Ben Bamidele. So many artistes who are coming under will also be part of your band. You follow your leader, you watch how he has been able to present himself and package himself over the years and you have somebody to understudy and learn from. Now, there is no entry point for music. And it’s a problem. Somebody just gets on a laptop and puts everything together, does one demo, burns it on a CD, takes it to the nearest radio station, settles the boys and you have a single on air. There’s no entry point. So, these young guys didn’t attend any ‘school’ of music or went under anybody’s tutelage. When Ebenezer Obey and King Sunny Ade came out the other day, we saw Baba Sala and Fatai Rolling Dollars who were like their mentors or the people they worked under before they became stars. That’s the general norm. Almost every established musician back in the days and up to my generation always has that kind of story to tell. So, when you enter and all of a sudden everybody is talking about you, everybody is writing about you and you are a ‘star’, you begin to mess up and get carried away.
Why do most musicians fail, why are most musicians poor?
For me, I don’t think there’s really an easy answer to that question. I think music is something spiritual and it comes from God. God chooses who He wants to make successful. You could ask the same question about your profession. Why are a lot of journalists poor? Because the truth is, there are journalists who are rich, who have ten cars, journalists who don’t do any other thing but journalism and they have houses. They live very well with their families; they go to London, abroad for holidays. And in your same profession, you have those who cannot afford to feed their families three square meals. So, it’s the same logic. It’s just God. God decides who makes it. But beyond God, you have to apply yourself to anything you do. First of all, you have to be a genuine talent, either as a journalist, either as a musician, either as an actor. You have to have genuine skills and talent and that is what will see you through ultimately.
Why do most musicians attain success and find it difficult to sustain it?
That’s a worldwide phenomenon. Those of us who have stayed this long in the business, in the game and are still relatively successful, comparatively, you cannot take anything away from it, because if you say it’s because of your hard work, it doesn’t mean you work harder than any other person. So, I will still go back to the God-factor. I strongly believe in this life that God decides who He chooses to bless and nobody should question that. Apart from the other aspects which are hard work, good song writing skills, knowledge of your trade and all those other things that you need to put in. Beyond that, there is still a difference between somebody who has all the required skills and puts in everything he needs to put in to get a good product out and somebody who is still above him. Even though they are both putting the same effort. That extra is God.
What is the biggest mistake that most musicians make?
Believing the hype, believing their hype. Hype is created by the fact that somebody somewhere sits down to write something about you, which get into people’s memories and minds and then they begin to see you as that thing. Now, an artiste should always remember that he is a product, just like any other product. So, the last thing he wants to do is to begin to believe that hype that his organization or management or media person puts out. Remember that you are not infallible, remember that you are only as good as your last hit, remember that you are only as good as what people think of you in their minds and remember you are only as good as what you put into your last hit, remember that you are only as good as what people think of you in their minds and remember you are only as good as what you put into your profession. Some people get so high on themselves that they feel that they can just go into the studio and churn out anything; once they hear my voice, they will shout, they will scream and then I will sell a million copies. No! The same work you put into it when you made that first hit, it is the same work you have to put in to make any other hit. If you are an established star, the only thing or the only advantage you have is that people will listen to your music. But the listener is the king, the audience is the king. Not you! They are the stars; because they are the ones that are gonna translate the success into your life. So, remember that each time you put something out, it has to be as good, if not better, than the last product.
What makes a good music?
I wish we all knew. Because that way we will all be making hits every day. But I think the first thing you must do is to have a good beat. It starts with the beats, and for me, the most important thing is the message. What message are you passing across with the song? Because you find that these days, a lot of songs come out and they are very big, but they don’t last 3 months. Six months they are off the shelf. Nobody is talking about them again, because all people were dancing to, was the beat. The song itself had no message. Just a repetitive chant. It has gotten to that point now in Nigeria where people keep on repeating the same word throughout the duration of the song; using the one word for 5 minutes. The song tells you nothing. If somebody asks you what was this song about, you won’t be able to say beyond picking up verses and say well, they said this, they said that in the song. That’s how I see it.
What is the best way to come up with hit songs?
First of all, I think if you are out for a hit and not a good song, then you should look at the hits that are happening today. That’s the best place to start. What are people listening to? What are they into? What kind of beat is working in the clubs? What kind of beats are the DJs mixing? Because if your pattern does not go with what the DJs are playing currently, then they will relegate your song to the background automatically, from the beginning. So, you have to listen to what DJs are playing, listen to what people are dancing in the clubs, listen to what the radio stations are playing and play something similar to that. That would at least guarantee you some semblance of fitting in. But what guarantees a hit, nobody really knows.
Why do most artistes come up with hits only once and find it difficult to come up with another?
There are many factors that would affect you and not being able to continue to replicate successes over and over again. One could be the fact, like I said, you’ve gotten carried away with yourself and you are not putting in as much effort as you used to or you keep doing the same old style, the same old thing. You are not upping your game, you are not changing your pattern and you are doing the same old thing and expecting to still get the same result you got. Unfortunately in music, it doesn’t work that way. When people have heard it again and again from you, they want you to step up your game or bring something fresh. So, if you are not able to do that, then you are gonna lose your audience. And sometimes it’s just the fact that music is also revolving. May be today people are really into the highlife thing, tomorrow they are into hip hop; the other day they might be into R and B. So, it depends on what they are into at that time. May be your own music is not fitting into what is really, really happening and if you don’t have that dynamism as an artiste to be able to blend your music to fit the pattern of today’s music, you will be left behind.
What is the greatest thing that music has done for you?
I think first of all, it has given me an easily recognizable face. And that has helped in other areas. If you’ve had a good name for a very long time and people have continued to say good things about you, obviously, if you want to attempt business or any other thing, it will open doors for you and get you a red carpet treatment in most establishments. It’s given me an easily recognizable face that people can identify on the streets.
What hasn’t music done for you?
I can’t really say. I think for the fact that all the things that I would pray to have achieved from music I’ve been able to get them. What hasn’t it done for me? I don’t know (Laughing).
What do you like most about being a musician?
The creative process. It’s fun when you see a song, like Fine Bara. When we were writing the song, putting the words together, saying them to my manager or saying a line to somebody and seeing their expression or them laughing, until it became a song and we now shot the video and everybody now saw it and it was okay. People couldn’t stop laughing. Like Mo gbo mo ya. Talking about parties and saying okay, these people that go to parties without invitation cards and then from that concept to writing the song, to shooting the video. That is the best part of music for me. Making something from nothing. God has given you that talent. It’s like writing a book. It’s like writing a novel, somebody reads a novel and it’s a story and they can piece it together from the beginning to the end. But they were just empty pages until the writer started writing it. It’s the same thing with music. It’s emptiness, no sound, until you start putting the song together and it becomes something that people are singing outside and then you go out, you see people singing the words you wrote in your bedroom, on a very quiet night when there was nobody around, when you were stringing those words, to the extent that it now becomes a song that people are singing at a party! Everybody knows these words, the songs have become popular. I mean, that is the best part of music for me.
What don’t you like about being a musician?
Just the fact that may be expectations are high; too high sometimes. Sometimes people’s manner of approach, just because you are an entertainer, they don’t see you more or less like a regular human being; people approach you like maybe you are a machine or something. Maybe you come out from a cupboard, you perform and then you go back. They don’t really relate with you sometimes like they will relate with somebody else. That I don’t really like. I like people to be free with me.
What’s the most difficult thing about stardom?
I think sometimes it’s just walking into a place and then all eyes are on you. Sometimes you yourself cannot be yourself when you are in certain places and maybe because people look at you and so much is expected, you just find yourself always being a little bit not yourself in some places. That’s one aspect. When too many eyes are on you and you are a little bit self conscious and you are not very comfortable where you are and you can’t just be like everybody else.
What’s the best way to manage stardom?
I think the best way is to have good people around you. The kind of people that will tell you the truth. Don’t change your friends. If you’ve studied your friends and you have the ones that are really, really good-hearted, keep those ones, drop the ones that you don’t need. But in terms of your management and the people around you, you have to have competent guys who can look you in the face and tell you the truth. When you have gone off-track, they can tell you no; this is how to go without being scared of you. Because if most stars find out, the people they surround themselves with are scared of them or they just want to keep their jobs, so rather than tell you the truth, they just allow you to do anything you wanna do. You are the star; you are the one paying the bills. But if you have people around you who are competent enough to tell you when you are going wrong, it will help the guy to go a long way.
Which of your songs do you like most and why?
I would have probably mentioned the obvious ones because they are hits and all that, but I think the one that always touches me the most is – the one I like, maybe because it’s more recent – Hit The Dance Floor. Because I’ve always been a Reggae/Dancehall lover and that’s not our genre of music. But I find that I always try to throw in one Reggae song with every album. And this particular song we did with Rhymzo. It just touches a special part of me and there are a lot of people that like that song as well. It’s on the new Two Legit album.
So, which of your songs don’t you like and why?
Hmmm! I wouldn’t put a song on an album that I didn’t like at all. I can’t really come up and say one particular song I don’t like. But there was a remix of Adupe on the TWO album that I didn’t like at all. I didn’t like the mix.
How does it feel to be doing the same thing with your wife?
I guess maybe because we met doing this. It’s not strange. It wasn’t like we got together, then we started music. We were musicians. She was on her own, we were in school, she was doing her thing with her own band; I was doing my own thing with my own band – Turning Point. And when her own brand broke up, she joined my band. So, we met as musicians and we were both singers, then we became friends, then we found out that we had so much in common and here we are 25 years later.
Are there times you feel like being on your own and without Wunmi? Because you people are always together, both at home and at events…
I have actually told her before that her juju is very powerful (General laughter). I have told her many times – the day I discover your juju man, I will strangle him so I can be free of this. But sincerely speaking, I never get bored with my wife. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but I really always look forward to seeing her; I always wanna be with her and it’s vice versa. Even when I travel, if I have to travel for any reason, we are on the phone for like 2,3 hours at a time. It’s ridiculous that after 25 years it’s still like this. I don’t know whether other people’s marriages are like that. But for me, it’s shocking that we enjoy each other’s company so much, up till now. I mean, I am telling you that I am shocked; I’m amazed about it. Maybe as we get older we will be bored with each other, but for now, I enjoy being with her. Unfortunately, we are not together as much as people think. We are only together when we work and all that. Most of the time, she goes to do one run, I go to do another thing. Right now, she’s not even back home. I’m missing her and hoping she will come back soon (Laughs).
What do you love most about Wunmi?
I think the fact that she has a good heart. You see, in these end times, you find that a lot of people are just wicked in their hearts. People come into relationships with already pre-set goals and targets; what they want to achieve in that relationship and it’s all about them. And you can never make a relationship work when it’s all about you; both partners in that team have to open their hearts. You have to open your heart to the other person, take all the nonsense and then you have to be ready to forgive; you have to respect the other person. You can’t be married to somebody you don’t respect. So, for me, what I love most is her heart. She has a good heart and no matter how she comes across sometimes. I know that inside, she’s only protecting that soft heart she has. She’s very loving.
What don’t you like about her?
I’ve always told her and she gets upset. I wish she would shop less. Because she buys a lot of things that she doesn’t need. She buys things that sometimes for one year she will not go near them. So, I wish she would do that less. Especially now; with the economy being what it is.
Anytime there is a disagreement, how do you resolve it?
Okay, I’m the kind of person that if you offend me, the first thing I do is to keep quiet. Because I’ve realized that most marriages are broken within that first second when you react; what you say first is always the nastiest thing that can come out of a human being’s mouth – to your partner! The things that when they repeat them to you later, you will deny you said them. You will say no, no, no, I couldn’t have said that. So, when I realized that it happens for everybody; if somebody annoys you, the first thing you want to say is you are mad, you are stupid, something nasty must come out. So, what I do is I keep quiet first. I keep quiet until I’ve calmed down. Then, when you have calmed down, you can now articulate your points and discuss it like a business proposal or tell yourself that a client has offended you or a business partner has done something. Take it away from the marriage so that it will be easier for you to put your words together. That’s what I do. Otherwise you will find yourself saying things to somebody and they will never really totally forgive you, because you’ve said something you don’t really mean and they might not believe you don’t mean it. They will say oh, that thing that came from your heart, all these ones is because you have calmed down. So, cool down first before you talk. And if you have a reasonable partner also, that person too will understand. And once it starts getting heated, walk away.
What’s the nicest thing that Wunmi has done for you?
Ah! Yee! (Thinks) It has to be regarding the kids. Carrying the children, three of them for nine months. If you see them when they are in their third trimester or what do they call that thing of pregnancy, you will pity them o! They will look like ballon. I mean, I think that for me is the nicest thing. They are our kids anyway, but it’s a lot of sacrifice for a woman to lose her body like that for nine months.
What hasn’t Wunmi done for you?
I can’t think of any. Because most of the things that I really think are important to me, if I discuss them with her, she normally complies. She’s a very reasonable person, so if there’s really something that really matters that much to me; that I need from her, she will do it.
NB: First published January 2014