Nigerian pastors have labeled the ongoing marital brouhaha between Pastor Chris Oyakhilome and his wife, Anita as not only unacceptable in the Christendom but also a deviation from Biblical doctrines. According to the latest information emanating from the United Kingdom, where the Oyakhilomes reside, the couple may have divorced or separated secretly. A report published in the UK on Wednesday, May 28, 2014 stated that most members of Christ Embassy Church in the UK were beginning to show concern over why the couple had not been seen together, both in the church and outside the church lately. Unarguably among the most famous pastors in Nigeria, Oyakhilome (of Love World Assembly, aka Christ Embassy Church), the handsome preacher gave a hint about the purported divorce on 16/05/2014 in a meeting with all the UK Pastors and Deacons of Christ Embassy, Bermondsey, where he said: “I am here for your concerns about the ongoing domestic issue with my wife and I know it affects you directly, being the ones under her leadership. This is not an organisation or a political party, so it’s not a place for you to air your opinion or scrutinize what we do. We had a vision, started and you joined us. If you don’t like what we do, you can get out. Churches where members air their views never grow. Some pastors’ wives think when they marry a pastor they are equal to the pastor. My wife thinks so. As a matter of fact, Rev. Tom was her pastor before I married her and Rev. Ray and Evang. Owase were her leaders long before I married her. How come she thinks she’s senior to them now? I already started Christ Embassy before I married her. I didn’t marry her and said we should start Christ Embassy. I was already pastoring. I already set my sail and knew my direction before I married her. I only said come and help me. Be careful of the friends you keep. My wife keeps friends who bring out the worst in her and help her see the worst in people instead of keeping friends that will help her vision, especially as the wife of a global pastor like me. Bitterness is prolonged and accumulated anger. My wife is always angry and bitter. Allegations are either false or twisted information. The current situation is not as a result of what I did or what I didn’t do. I didn’t do anything to have caused an upheaval. You don’t join a woman to fight her husband. I’m not teaching you what is wrong, at least I have two girls who will one day marry and I want them to enjoy it”. In an attempt to find answers to their worries, some members of the church had gone to open a Facebook page which they call ‘Where is Rev. Anita Oyakhilome?’ The page administrators who are based in the United Kingdom and are strong members of the church stated on the page that they were very worried about the absence of Rev. Anita Oyakhilome in the life of Pastor Chris. While demanding to know her whereabouts, the members stated on the Facebook page that they were wondering what had become of the clergy woman. According to comments on the Facebook page, Rev. Anita hadn’t been seen in Christ Embassy where she pastors since November 2013, and there were no explanations given as to her sudden disappearance and the church had been left without a pastor since then. In one of the posts on the page, the members wanted to know the real truth about her mental state. They were also wondering if their Senior Pastor had divorced the wife without the members knowing. YES INTERNATIONAL! therefore sought the opinion of other men of God on the issue of divorce because many Christians believe it is not Biblical. The Book of Malachi 2:16 says: “I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel.” According to the Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. “So, they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6). God realizes, though, that since marriages involve two sinful human beings, divorces are going to occur. In the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcées, especially women (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Jesus pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not because they were God’s desire (Matthew 19:8).
The controversy over whether divorce or remarriage is allowed, according to the Bible, revolves primarily around Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. The phrase “except for marital unfaithfulness” is the only thing in the scripture that possibly gives God’s permission to divorce and remarriage. Some of the men of God YES INTERNATIONAL! spoke to had this to say:
PASTOR DAODU OLUWATOSIN (RCCG)
They are not men of God because the Bible is strictly against it. They are even at the risk of not making heaven. They can’t even fulfill eternity because they don’t have fruits of the spirit (love, patience, hope, long suffering, peace, joy…). In as much as they can’t manage a woman that God has placed in their care, how can they manage God’s flock? There’s nothing called divorce in the Christendom because you need to have prayed well about your choice before you go for it. So, there’s no room for mistakes.
PASTOR LADI AYODEJI (HOUSEHOLD OF GOD CHURCH)
The Bible is clear about it and whatever the Bible says forms my own opinion on marriage and divorce in Christianity. I can’t say if divorce is legal or not because it is clearly stated in the Bible. I’m really sorry for those who go through it because it is a very serious issue. I equally pray for those who are struggling with their marriages because it is an ugly experience that you don’t even want to happen at all in the first place. But just like I said, if you go through the Bible, there are passages there that clearly talk about marriage and divorce.
PASTOR OLAMIDE ADEWUNMI (CAC, OKE ANU)
Christian marriage is sacred, divorce is satanic. Marriage is something that should be guarded and protected; it’s God’s institution while divorce is the element that makes it useless. For a man of God to go for divorce is totally wrong and absurd. If the Bible is to be followed meticulously, men of God who divorce are not men of God. God is not in support of divorce. It is a programme designed by Satan to fix errors in marriage, instead of using Godly counsels.
PASTOR KUNLE AJAYI (RCCG)
My brother, everything you need to know about it is written in the Bible. I don’t think any Christian will have any contrary opinion against what the Bible says; likewise myself.
PASTOR MICHEAL AHMADU (RCCG)
It is absolutely wrong as a Christian not to talk of a man of God. There is no justification for divorce except when found in adultery. Even so, forgiveness is required, not divorce. Marriage is a cross one carries till death. So many so called men of God have lost the calling and we don’t know why. We are in the end-time. We even have gay marriages in churches now! Many who God genuinely called have lost it not to talk of those who called themselves or those who hunger called. Not all who are called men of God are actually men of God.
PASTOR (MRS.) TITILAYO AKINSULURE (RCCG)
It takes God and one’s determination to have a successful marriage. Men and women of God who indulge in divorce have their reasons, but that does not mean it’s not a sin. But until one knows why they took that action, you may judge wrongly. That’s why when you are about choosing, you need to think more than twice. If you know you won’t be able to manage the other person for the rest of your life, the relationship is not worth starting! Yes, I agree that marriage is for better for worse, but what of if it’s the wife that insisted on divorce? As long as the court of law rules in her favour, what can the man do? You should also know that not all the people that call themselves men of God are true sons of God.
PASTOR AKINTUNDE AKINSULURE (RCCG)
Minister of God in divorce? I stand by what the Bible says alone. Everyone knows these so called men of God have questionable characters. Do I blame them? When fine girls will be going to them for counseling. With pastors alone! Why won’t they fall? Anointing and sex are two different things. Many anointed men of God have fallen because of that.
PASTOR (MRS.) EZEUGO LINDA (DOMINION HOUSE)
Marriage is an institution ordained by God. It is higher than both people in it. When the couple respects this institution, they will not abuse God’s original intention. When they understand that it isn’t about them, it is about a higher authority, they will always be motivated to keep the vow they made to each other and to God. People that have come to this understanding are the ones that last in marriage. Pastors that divorce at will lack the understanding of the meaning of marriage. You don’t just wake up one morning and decide to leave; you will be making jest of God. A lot of people in our generation think marriage is when two people fall in love and decide to be together. This is totally wrong because marriage is higher than that.
PASTOR BOLA SOYINKA (REVIVAL ASSEMBLY)
The Bible doesn’t permit us to divorce our spouses. But first of all, don’t forget that in any marriage, there are two parties involved and in Africa, there are other parties also involved. You may not know except if you are an insider, who among the couple wishes to go. I am not supporting it anyway, but we all know that stealing is wrong, but some do steal. That is why the Bible says in Ephesians 5 verse 31 that, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and the two shall be one flesh”. It is a union. A mystery that only death can separate. When you said men of God, we have men of God and men of God. We know those that God called and those that called themselves. That is why the Bible says “They shall be tested by fire”.
REV. FR. LAWRENCE ADELANA, FADA FUJI (CATHOLIC CHURCH)
I don’t have my stand, but that of the Bible. If the sacrament of marriage had been given, you can’t divorce again until death. It is only when a partner dies that you can remarry. Even barrenness or any eventuality can’t alter it. But if a threat to life is involved and there are witnesses to it, then the other party can seek for divorce in a court of law. The church doesn’t permit that because people can hide under it to run away from their spouses. Well, if you say men of God indulge in it, that would never be in Catholic. You can only find such in one or two new generation churches. You know them. Don’t you? Because they own their churches and can dictate anything to suit their actions. It’s only when your spouse dies that you can be allowed to remarry.
PASTOR HARRISON BAYAGBON (GOVERNMENTAL TABERNACLE)
The issue of whether a Christian or a man of God can divorce is not a yes or no answer. There are arguments for and against it, but the will of God is not divorce. It is only because human beings are disgruntled, that’s why we look for reasons to divorce. Marriage must be handled discreetly and whatever reasons that might lead to divorce must be looked into very well.