Dear Family,
Thanks so much for joining my exclusive tribe of New Man Parents who have chosen to do things differently by taking responsibility for a new generation.
One of the commonest questions i get asked every time i facilitate a parenting session is the question on spanking and yelling by parents. I am often not shocked at this question and quite a number of parents love to quote the part of the Holy Book where the Bible talks about the rod of correction.
It was King Solomon who wrote that aspect as a part of his collections of Jewish Proverbs and here is the exact quote;
‘Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him’
If you critically look at the above quote it is so easy to overlook the fact that he was talking about ‘a child’ an indefinite article so we must be careful not to say what he never said. At no time did he say foolishness is bound in the heart of every child or the child. That would have amounted to gross generalization because not every child has got foolishness in them so the first question you may want to ask is;
‘Is there foolishness in my child and what is your definition of foolishness’
Often times expected behavior can manifest as foolishness but may not be foolishness when subjected to the test of truth.
So that brings me to what you must consider before you deploy the rod of correction but please note that that rod was not specified so it simply means any intervention that can correct a particular behavior should be deployed but whatever intervention we deploy we must ensure it never destroys the identity and esteem of a child.
Here are 7 things you must consider before beating your child
1. Never beat a child for what you have not taught him
2. Never beat a child without giving him enough time to assimilate what you have taught him
3. Never beat a child when there is another way to effectively correct that behavior
4. Never beat a child when there is no data to guarantee that beating will correct the behavior
5. Never beat a child when you are angry because you may damage the child
6. Never beat a child without agreeing with him prior to the offence the punitive measure for such.
7. Never beat a child without giving him the chance to defend himself and explain the reason behind the behavior.
Once you run these checks and you still feel the need to go ahead then deploy your rod of correction but please note that the fact that your parents beat you doesn’t necessarily mean that their rod of correction helped you overcome the behavior. The question you should ask is what is the opportunity cost of their flogging?
– Did it make you become more confident in your ability?
– Did it improve your performance and curiosity or it introduced fear into your life?
– Did you become a better person as a result of their flogging?
– What exactly is your adult report card compared to other nations that did not apply flogging?
– Have you become disciplined or domesticated?
Friends, I am not against yelling or flogging but one critical thing i noticed is many of us have not mastered the art of effective communication and behavioral change so we deploy flogging hoping it would correct the behavior.
What if you can master a better way of correcting your child that is faster and doesn’t destroy the child?
Have you joined our child power solutions family? www.iampraisefowowe.com/cpp
Are you coming for our out of the box parenting seminar in the UK? www.iampraisefowowe.com/online/events
If you are in Nigeria and other African countries it will soon come somewhere close to you.
Trust me there is nothing that trumps effective parenting and whenever you see the name Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk and several other folks transforming our world let that instruct you on what is possible when the innocence and the curiosity of a child is preserved through effective communication.
Criminals don’t change by beating; they change through behavioral change intervention and your child is not a criminal
If your child is a royalty or a diplomat how would you correct his/her behavior?
If Mr. President hands his erring child to you to assist him correct his bad behavior but insists on installing CCTV in your house so that they can monitor how you are going about it. What will you do differently in raising that child outside flogging?
Your seed will grow well and your children will call you blessed.
I honour you
Praise Fowowe
Premier Trainer- Family Systems Engineering Certification
Center For Sex Education and Family Life
Plot 14 Hilton Drive off Ogundana off Allen
Lagos Nigeria
www.iampraisefowowe.com
The most important nation on earth is your family because it is the production factory of the society – Praise Fowowe
Our focus is to promote the dignity of humanity through a developed family system where the potential of everyone finds expression producing a culture that gives our world rest in service to God and Humanity. I am the one to call should you have any Family life issue you need to resolve
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