One thing that has become so clear to me since we started this series is the fact that loads of women are harboring unexpressed anger against their men and that could be very dangerous to the future of our nation if men don’t quickly learn to bridge this gap. I am aware that loads of men feel their women are helpless and are built to stomach everything they throw at them because of culture, religion and traditions, but if you have been a follower of global events you would decipher that it is only a matter of time if our men would not learn to be responsible and treat their women better. There was a time a woman could not lead an organization, but that has been confined to the trash cans of history now with some women even leading a country of strong men. I think backwardness is holding to a firm belief that a woman is nothing other than a bedroom and kitchen mate. I make bold to say that my wife has saved me from some decisions that would have embarrassed me with her instincts even when I thought I was right and same goes for your kids.
Nobody loves you like your family and they are the only group of people that can accurately assess you and tell you the areas you need to improve if you allow them. I am aware some women have been damaged before marriage, which has affected their perception and accuracy, but a woman is malleable and it is your responsibility as a bride groom to make a world class bride out of your raw bride.
From next week, we shall begin to look at how to successfully build a family system and I want to appeal that you don’t just read this, but go ahead to rebuild your home. If all of us on this platform align our paradigm to this, then together we can birth a kingdom family that will birth a kingdom society within the shortest possible time. But the change must start with us. What limiting beliefs must you do away with from today and in what areas have you hurt your spouse that you need to apologize for? Please, go ahead and do it right away. The key to a transformed nation is a transformed family, hence any transformation that we expect that doesn’t start from the foundation would be short-lived. Every time God wants to start something new, He looks for a family or what one of my mentors calls an original man and woman and begins a rebuilding process from there. The truth is that you can never build a successful family without a departure from who you have always been, that is why the first building block is a national ideology or a purpose.
IDEOLOGY– The bane of most African countries is a lack of national ideology and it is the same problem with most families. Why was your nation formed? Or what is the purpose of your family? I sat with one of my most revered mentors and he said something that shook me to my wits last week. He said the whole essence of the creation of the nation Nigeria, for example, is to serve as an economic raw material for the people who colonized us and that until we break away from that and develop our own national ideology, we would keep going around in circles.
When purpose is not discovered, abuse is inevitable, says Dr. Myles Munroe. Do you know the purpose of your family? I don’t want you to assume that you know because when what you think is the right answer is different from what your spouse and kids feel, then there is bound to be pockets of different issues within the family that would make you wonder where they are coming from. Maybe you may even need to backtrack a bit and find out the reason you married your spouse and the reason why he married you. If all he saw is a leg or a shape, there is no way he would consider you intelligent enough in building a successful family. Why don’t you play a game this morning and pull out 2 sheets of paper separately and answer these questions:
– What is the purpose of our family?
– Why did we marry?
By the time you compare notes, you may discover that you guys are miles apart and there is no way two can walk together except there is agreement.
To be continued.