RUNNING AN EFFECTIVE FAMILY (14) – Building Blocks (Family Ideology)
With every passing day, I am beginning to see a bigger problem in our quest to build the most desirable society and that came to the fore again recently with loads of women contacting me with the million dollar question: ‘Whose responsibility is it to craft a family ideology?’
The moment I responded, telling them it must be a joint task by the couple, I knew what was coming next and that is the fact that loads of our men have outgrown their families and the need to sit down to have a meaningful conversation. It appears that while a lot of women are doing everything to make their homes work and their marriages the most desirable, a lot of our men are unwilling to even sit with their spouses to attempt to create a family ideology. While I must give it to some of our incredible men on this platform who have been driving this initiative with their families, I feel other men must humble themselves to see the bigger problem within their families, which is the obvious lack of communication. If your wife is afraid to strike a conversation on what you need to do to build a wonderful family, then something is seriously wrong. Until you become the servant of all in your family, you can’t truly lead. How come you are beginning to act out the exact thing you complained about your father?
A family that was able to complete their family ideology sent me what they arrived at and I am sharing by permission this morning:
‘We are a nation born out of God to extend heaven’s influence on earth. We hold this truth of creation so dear to our hearts that all men are created in God’s image and His likeness and came here with a natural ability to generate solutions that can make the world a better place. To this end, we exist to create an orderly environment of love where everyone supports everyone to become the best God has ordained for them and where respect for human life, purpose, potentials and justice in the fear of God are promoted at all levels of our family existence in service to humanity
What is your family ideology?
I am aware some of us have not been able to get it done because the men have not been available to join us to get it done, but I don’t want that to limit you because you can still go ahead and work on something with your children till daddy is ready. What that means is you can ask yourself the type of family you would want to see and ask your children as well. I am also sure your husband must have mentioned the kind of family he desired when your love was still strong. So, you can make use of what he told you then to build something for your family.
Someone pointed me to a bigger problem and that is the fact that loads of people don’t even have a personal ideology hence their inability to craft a workable family ideology. This is so true because with every passing day, I keep meeting real people who have sacrificed their happiness for several other causes that have nothing to do with their reason for existence either through their upbringing, culture or religion. So, the battle might even go back to finding the lost you and as you know, nothing would ever give you happiness other than the essence of your being or something you are so passionate about that is worth dying for.
Having crafted your family ideology, you may now want to go further into specifics by crafting your family vision and values because a combination of the three is what determines the type of family government that you have to run to create the world’s most desirable country – your family. Your family vision is a picture of your future or the destination you want to see. If human beings can perish without a vision, how much more a nation? Is there a family vision that is visible for everyone visiting your home and that is clear to everyone living in your home? Could the present crisis you are experiencing have been as a result of a uniform vision that is agreeable to all in your family?
What is your family vision?
To be continued.
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