Slavery mentality is so deadly that it strips a man of empathy and makes him want to subdue others once he gains a sense of independence, even though he is not yet free. And that you see manifest a lot in several marriages.
In slavery, it is not uncommon to see a slave who has been promoted above his fellow slaves maltreating the same people they once suffered together and that is why it is very easy for me to understand the situation loads of women now go through when the man of the house begins to maltreat the same woman whom they suffered together simply because he has found another woman who doesn’t truly love him. That is why I must passionately appeal to every woman to have a source of livelihood no matter how small it is and keep the business going in the interest of your family because I have had to handle more than eight cases of men wanting out of marriage because they felt the women were no longer good enough and these men had even chosen to abandon the kids as well.
You can take a man/woman out of slavery, but getting the slavery mentality out of him is one of the most difficult tasks to do because it manifests at every level of engagement. Have you noticed that the truly rich don’t flap their wings, neither do they live an extravagant life? But check out the black Americans and the ones in Africa who don’t even feature in Forbes list of the world’s richest men and the lifestyle they are living? I have seen men/women damage their family finance because of their quest to live a make-believe kind of lifestyle to impress a people who don’t care about them. Slavery mentality deprives a man of vision and makes him so proud that he feels it is beneath his status to have his wife call his attention to the need to craft a family vision in the interest of their future.
Are you a slave or free?
The more I sit to write this series, the more it seems I am faced with the daunting task of rebuilding the family systems. I have sat with loads of men and women and for once it seems we need to as a matter of urgency declare a state of emergency on the dearth of real men and women. It is becoming crystal clear that somewhere along the line, proper home training was sacrificed for ambience and are pleasure such that we have raised an untrained generation who are not aware of their real status and are unwilling to accept the need for them to bumble themselves to learn. I understand why it is difficult because how do you convince a man who is able to get a top job as the leader of an organization that all is not well with his sanity when he maltreats his family? How do you convince a woman who speaks queen’s English and is a celebrity that all is not well with her understanding of family life when millions are following her (even though we can’t ascertain the sanity of these millions) on social media and she is able to still grace every red carpet?
The biggest challenge in our quest to successfully undertake this task is getting people to accept the fact that something is wrong with all we have accepted thus far. I had to get to that level and began the search for something new and until I had to humble myself and become a true citizen of my family nation and not someone who sees himself as bigger than the family, I never discovered new depths.
By now everyone here should have discovered their family ideology and crafted a family vision. If you have been unable to do that because your spouse has not attained freedom even though he/she claims to be independent, can you at least craft out something that can create a script that can deliver the most desirable future for your family? The first building block in the school of the family systems is Family Ideology, then Vision and Values, but these three are inferior to the quality of the two people who have come together to start a family.
Are you FREE or just independent?
To be continued.