Our eyes met. I smiled and looked away… He walked over to the window where I stood; I could smell his cologne from a mile away. My head felt dizzy or should I say giddy. He started coming closer and all I could do was catch my breath, this dude was towering over me. I wiped the sweat forming at my brow, it was like I was on fire in a heavily air conditioned room. I turned away, it seemed like the only thing I could do. “Hello!” came the baritone voice from behind me. I closed my eyes, this was just too good to be real. With all the courage I could muster, I turned around and replied rather clumsily, “H…Hi.” Looking into his eyes, I wondered how one could have such full eye brows that came so close to each other, his smile was heart stopping, sparkling white teeth, and sweet fresh breath; his lips were moist, I found myself thinking how he managed to keep them so enticing… Then I heard the following words accompanied by the crudest accent, ‘Baby, I like you and I want to befriend you. If you agree for this my toasting eh, you will never regret it. Chai, this gal, your figure is doing me yori-yori, and I too ginger your swagger, so baby gal, what is ya name?’ Ouch! Who the heck is this guy? All my fairy tale thoughts came crashing down. He might have a body like a god, and a face like an angel, but he sure has a lot of lessons to learn on how the use of flattering words can keep a woman suspended in the world of fantasy forever.
I calmed my nerves and sternly replied, ‘I’m sorry… not interested, and if you will excuse me, I must be on my way.’ As I hurriedly left the building. Phew! He looked defeated, like a puppy without its bone, even in all of that I had to admit: that guy was fine!
Sometimes, like my guy’s situation, words could either help you seal a relationship or severe it. In other words, how words are coined is important. My guy had the looks, the smile, the voice, but not the words. Pity. He could have had me on his plate for dessert, he was that close.
One might say, this is for only the elite or refined; and in the case of a truck pusher to a pepper seller, they do not need any art of speech to hit it off. I say this is not true. Even in the class of the above, Saheed, Mr. Truck Pusher has to be suave, blending the right words to win the heart of Mosun, the Pepper Seller. He probably will start with a nice complement, “Mosun, Mosun, walahi you fine today o! Ha, e be like say na on top your face dem make sun, you just dey shine no be small.” Mosun might initially reply in a non- chalant manner, “Saheed, na you sabi.” But deep down she feels like a queen, at least for that day. Now imagine Saheed doing this on a regular basis, and then taking it a step further by asking if he could buy her lunch at Iya Amala’s place? If Mosun declines initially, it would not take long before she eventually agrees to go with him, and who knows where it would go from there?!
If my guy had only used the right words with me in his intro, I probably would still be gazing at his awesome eyes right now. Perhaps if he had used words like, “Hi, I could not help but notice what a marvelous figure you have? Has anybody ever told you to enroll in a beauty pageant? I bet you’ll wear the crown.” Honestly, I would stay rooted to that spot talking to him till night falls, without even knowing his name! Why? Because he knows the art of speech!
I know many politicians who won elections because they knew the art of speech. Take the US President, Barack Obama for instance; his speeches during his presidential campaigns were so alive, you believed in his YES WE CAN campaign!
Coming closer home, our dear Ex-Governor of Lagos State, Babatunde Raji Fashola (SAN); who during his governorship campaign reeled the slogan, EKO O NI BAJE, after bringing to the listeners’ attention his agenda for the citizens of the State. His speeches were so convincing and appealing that it was easy to believe in him.
In marriages, lack of knowledge in this art has caused many damaging effects to the fabric of the union. When a husband says the wrong words to his wife and vice versa at a time when the right words would have left both parties smiling to bed together, instead it makes the man prefer to grab his pillow and the wife goes to bed in tears. The art of speech, that necessary communication between husband and wife, is missing.
Trickling down, what type of speech are we teaching our children, how are we bringing up our youths? Have we told them something that can motivate, inspire and propel them to believe in this nation and what potentials they possess? Or does our speech tell them not to believe in the future and redemption of our country?
Schools set up debating competitions, as a means of sharpening the communication skills in youths from such early age, helping them to highlight their points in a proper order, to enable them pass their points and argument across in a clear, concise and convincing manner. Parents can also ensure this remains ingrained by helping their children work on their speech and articulation.
If we tell our youths what their positive contributions can do for this country, and for them in the long run, our youths won’t be scampering to leave this country. If we tell our youths and show by example that there is dignity in labour, our youths won’t spend their lives away looking for ‘Maga’ on the internet, so as to get rich quick!
The right use of speech would not encourage youths to use deadly weapons or fight religious and ethnic wars. Someone somewhere used the art of speech negatively and the result is loss of precious, valuable, irreplaceable lives. We do not need to go to Cambridge University or the University of Lagos to be able to know this; however, when we can use it positively to change lives, and help in nation building, then we can say we know how to use it richly. Getting to my car, I realized I had a flat tyre. Rats. I heard a soft cough behind me, I turned around sharply, it was ‘my guy’ from the building above. ‘Baby, can I help you change ya tire?’ he offered. I smiled. He may not know the art of speech, but he is a gentleman, and he’s drop dead gorgeous too! As I toyed with the possibility of repaying his kind gesture with lessons on effective speaking, he flashed me that heart melting smile of his, and… oh, don’t try to stop me, I’m definitely giving Mr. Handsome here a lesson on the art of speech.
(From the “Living it up” series)